If you give a little love...

This video is made of strung together insurance adverts, but I love it just the same....


 
If you give a little love from Markus B. on Vimeo.

Namaste, Houston!

December 7 was my mother's birthday, and since we live a few hours away, now, I had to put the gift I got for her in the mail on the Wednesday morning before. I drove in to downtown Houston and parked at the public library, where I am working, and wandered through the streets in search of a UPS Store. I found it and had another hour to kill before I was scheduled to work, so I just wandered the streets and enjoyed the architecture and cool morning air.

Downtown is a frenetic place on a Wednesday morning before nine. People pour in by the bus load--literally!--and everyone walks at a pace seldom seen outside of an early-morning suburban mall. People are in a terrible rush to get past one another, to grab coffee and to get to work. Some are already doing business on their mobile phones, their eyes fixed on things only they can envision. The sidewalks are a blur with motion.

All of the stereotypes are represented on the streets. You can see the perfect professional lady and gentleman, dressed to kill, briskly maneuvering through the crowd; You can see the entry-level executive in new clothes, with carefully-messed-up hair, with eyes the betray his outward confidence. There's an Assistant who has been on the job for nine years--she is no longer excited by being downtown, but she no longer has to work so hard to try and impress her boss.

I walked for a half hour, wondering what it is that she knows, before turning back so I could hopefully find my way back to work. When I got to the busy part of downtown, something that we talked about in Shambhala Meditation a week or two back popped into my mind: namaste.

Namaste is a common greeting in India--basically, it means something like, "I salute your form." But that form points to the formless part of us all, so Namaste is a way of acknowledging the divine in others. So, I started thinking namaste inside, making eye contact with everyone I could. "God loves you," I told them in my head. After passing by maybe 50 people, these two thoughts had become something of a mantra for me.

By the time I made it back to work, I was in an amazing state of mind; when you remember that God loves each and every person you meet, regardless of their membership in this group or that, you begin to remember that He loves you, too. The truth of the fingerprint of the divine within the people rushing to and fro is the truth for you, too, whether you know it or not.

We are all on the same journey, heading to the same destination, even if we, ourselves, have no idea where the trail ends.

But, it is all good...

It seems I have some apologizing to do. Thanks to having time to think (between episodes of Curious George on Netflix), I have uncovered some tendencies of mine and begun to make reparations for them a little. 

For instance, I called my friend Chris after ignoring him, outside of weddings and funerals, for several years. We are busy, so there are no hard feelings, but I was not being true to my beliefs about the value of people when I didn't call or write to Chris, so it is right that I finally spoke with him. I have also called Tim and Leigh Ann, who were foundational friends to me while growing up, and had a great conversation with my friend from when we were three-years-old, on, Justin (he instigated that call, but it was good). Just today, I posted some old photos of a girlfriend of mine from OU on Facebook and got to pester her a little. 

Since 1972: Super Schmuck!

And there are many more people I need to say big truths to--my sisters, my mother, my father, other friends. They all deserve an apology because I have walked this pebble for long stretches with my head firmly implanted in my asshole, my mind focused solely on whatever I preferred on any given Wednesday, with my own interests set as primary regardless of repercussions.

I just didn't know, didn't see, and often didn't care, that I was selfish.

Years have passed swiftly, just as everyone always said they would, as though my life was a leaf I dropped into a flowing river. I look backward when I speak with my good, old friends, and I remember more of them that I see before me. And I feel ashamed because I was rash and selfish, because I withheld love from them when I should have loved, and because I just didn't take time to show them that they have enriched my life in ways that I can't explain in words.

But, it is all good. 

See, I am not going to randomly call up everyone I have ever slighted and waste their time with a long, mushy monologue--it would be great to have a party where the guests were all people I have slighted and neglected, because I would get to see everyone I have ever loved, but the next day I would likely start a new list. 

The thing is, people don't want or need big apologies like that would be. Those conversations feel good for maybe fifteen minutes, but then shit moves on and things feel much as they did before because all of our contexts have changed and we just don't mean as much to one another, now, as we once did, at least not as much in our day-to-day lives. And that is as it should be.  By itself, confession can be really selfish.

About the best thing we can do is just understand our bad tendencies--really own them--make amends when given the opportunity, but then really do better as much as we can. I don't want to excuse myself from my sins by claiming that we all fall. I know they are me, anyway.

If you read this, please consider yourself apologized to. Then, call me up and let's take care of one another the way we should have all this time! :o)