Midlife crisis

I have never heard an accurate description of the infamous mid-life crisis, but I have seen the results a lot. I have seen men leave their spouses and quickly remarry, only this time someone much younger. I have seen expensive sports cars justified. I have seen "bachelor pads"--always a bit less than tidy--where men live like college guys again. 

I can imagine what motivates each of these "symptoms": we marry younger women in the attempt to find a partner who looks up to us (again), and to see if we can woo girls, frankly. We justify purchasing impractical cars because (at least in many cases) we feel that we have worked a while for success and have passed up many of the toys we dreamed of when we were 19 out of responsibility. We return to a less organized lifestyle in the attempt to live simply (in a masculine fashion?)

I write all of this because I am feeling all out of sorts, lately. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't want another wife (though I would enjoy being looked up to), nor does a sports car tempt me (I haven't worked all that hard for any length of time, anyway). I do wish to live more simply, but that has been true for a long time.

No, my crisis is manifesting, right now, as sentimentality about Mia.

She is growing up so quickly, and she is so much more complicated than I thought a six-year-old would be! She finished kindergarten, did I mention that?! 



I know that some of my off feeling comes from Mia's school year finishing, and some comes from the fact that I will turn 38 in a week or so (thirty-freaking-eight! I was certain I'd die before hitting thirty!).  Some also comes from Stacy having surgery later this week, ultimately hoping that she can carry another baby. All of it, together, makes me feel out of control.

If I drive off and end up in Alaska or the desert anytime soon, please understand.:o)