Twenty-five random things about me (because this is my blog, damn it!)

1. I have an irrational need to always be “the good guy.” It is subconscious, so there’s not much I can do about it.

2. I would rather be real, though. That’s my struggle.

3. The closest thing I know is the love I feel for my daughter. Before she came, I didn’t really know what love is. I can’t say I’ve mastered it, but I know, now.

4. My favorite color is deep blue. It gives me peace.

5. I crave simplicity, but I make things complicated.

6. Inside, I feel today pretty much the same as I did when I was seven years old.

7. I have an auditory memory, so I can usually recall things said and music verbatim.

8. I have daring dreams, but have always felt selfish when I wanted to chase them. That might be the tiny tragedy of my life.

9. I really admire people who can write creatively.

10. I wish I could truly start fresh. That would be revolutionary in all parts of my life.

11. I have a terrible sense of time. I have about five watches, but I can’t accurately estimate how long things take, so I am often late.

12. I am attracted to Indian/Asian culture, for no apparent reason.

13. Spiders creep me out. I am not scared of them, but I impulsively try to kill them, despite knowing that they are good bugs. My excuse is that they supposedly crawl into people’s holes…

14. I also love peanut butter. I enjoy it by the spoonful pretty often.

15. When I was a kid, I liked science better than any other subject in school. That’s because my teacher mistakenly treated me as though I was good at it, so I became good at it. I like to be the good guy…

16. I was “agnostic” in college, but looking back I think it was mostly a put-on. I wanted to be different than I had been growing up. I always felt like God was with me and it would all be okay.

17. I really do want to live some different, better way than just working and spending. So far, though, that's a FAIL.

18. I wish I had a talent, like photography, or painting or sculpting or playing a musical instrument.

19. I used to want to be an actor because it is energizing and freeing--acting is hiding in full sight.

20. For someone who tries to be nice, I sure owe some great people apologies.

21. I am a terrible friend, once I am separated by daily routine or distance.

22. My favorite times have been spent with a good friend in good conversation. I am a kind of addict to the intensity of that kind of evening.

23. I minored in History, but had more hours in Philosophy when I graduated. I wish that kind of study had given me some answers.

24. I am a flibbertigibbet, but I am trying to be grounded.

25. I have slept through whole portions of my time on Earth; in a daze, I accidentally neglected people I love. I try hard every day, now, to be awake to what is around me. I often fail, though.